Praying the Psalms
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Jesus uttered these words from the cross. In his time of greatest fear and pain, he wondered at your absence. If even he had to wonder, then surely, I am okay to have doubt. Please do not leave me and forsake me. Rescue me or give me over to be rescued by those around me.
Do you even hear me? I talk but hear nothing. Is that because I talk and do not listen or because you have nothing to say? Make me still. Let the chaos in my soul settle.
I trust in your goodness. I trust that the cords that bind my heart and my mind will be cut, and you will set me free. I want to escape. I want to hide. I just don’t want to be beat up anymore. I trust in your goodness.
When I feel worthless, you remind me that I am beloved. When I think I am a disgrace to you, you wash me anew in your grace. When the people revile me, you hold me close. When the people mock me, you give me power to build someone up. When the people shake their heads and sneer at me, you give me power to smile in the face of the snarl.
Give me the power to turn to you again today. Set me free from the cage of wild animals, or maybe have the cage protect me until they go away. Either way, find delight in me and save me from myself.
I cast myself upon you, so cast me not away from your presence. Do not be far from me, for distress is near and no one else can settle the chaos of my soul. I am falling apart and my heart melts like wax. The joy of everything seems to be diminishing. Evil encircles me looking to take everything.
But you are not far. You have come to my aid in the past and I know you will now. Save me from the sword of my life. Have I expected too much? Have I raised myself up to places I should not have been? Ease this affliction of the lowly. Do not hide your face from me. I need to see it now more than ever. Hear me!
May my hunger be satiated. May my search find you. May I experience good cheer. May I remember you. May I return to you. May I bow down before you. May you rule the hearts of all. AMEN.